People often ask what is the reasoning behind giving or not giving someone a particular task. Here is a short list of practical ways of ensuring you don’t get caught in the trap.
In a nutshell, by acting unethically at the workplace you can weaken productivity and wellbeing at work at the same time.
1. Don’t make an effort
Do everything you can to make sure that you complete all your tasks late and badly. Only do something if someone separately asks you to do it. And then drag it out for as long as possible. Don’t meet your targets, and blame this on circumstances. This first piece of advice is the most important.
2. Complain
There is always something wrong in your life and at work. Keep mentioning these things and don’t forget to sigh a lot. Life is tough. No one can be bothered to listen to this forever, so you’re on a sure path to oblivion. This will help you achieve a depressing atmosphere that every healthy person will want to avoid. If you’re lucky this will start to spread among your colleagues.
3. Point out your boss’s weaknesses
Every boss has plenty of faults, so this should not be difficult. Mention these at least every week to your boss and your colleagues. People will start to avoid you faster than you can imagine. This is also a good way of shifting the attention of the entire working community to something other than work.
4. Disagree
Every decision and plan has its weaknesses. Boldly point them out and keep going on about them. It’s even better if you sound like a know-it-all when you go on and on. You will soon see how effective this is when no on wants you at planning meetings or your help in producing new ideas.
5. Spread gossip
Tell stories about other people behind their backs. Say bad things about everyone else but that other people are the ones saying the bad things. You are just innocently reporting the facts. This will help you erode trust and create cliques.
6. Mess about in meetings
Select a couple of people in addition to your boss and whenever they speak roll your eyes, sigh and send text messages to your colleagues. Sniggering will make you look even more incompetent.
7. Get something off your chest by emailing a large number of recipients
If you suspect something, put this in an email and send it to ALL.
Because you don’t really know what is going on, be vague and hint at what has happened and who is involved. Don’t forget to use an accusatory tone and finish off by demanding that from now on everyone must start being straight about things.
It’s a good idea to do this around 3 pm on a Friday, to ensure that you ruin the weekend for as many people as possible. It’s also worth doing numbers 3 and 5 at the end of the week to make sure everyone feels as bad as possible.
It may be difficult to remember everything on the list, but don’t worry, doing just one thing on the list is often enough to ensure you are not going anywhere in your organisation. An unethical way of working is a very effective method.
